Baby I’ll fix this, I’m going to fix it I promise,”
He’s been saying this all night.
“How Chawe? How are you going to fix it? Did you see the look on his face? He was hurt Chawe, I disrespected him. After everything he’s done for me, I humiliated him in front of people who respect him,”
I’ve been crying and stopping and crying……
I should call my dad and apologise…no, it’s after midnight and he’s surely still very angry.
“Don’t touch me!!!”
He steps back and raises his hands.
All he’s done is bring me problems! From the first time I saw him, all he did was create problems for me!
First it was my best friend, and now my father. Why do I have to lose so much to be with him? Why does he make me do all these things? It’s like I’m not myself anymore, I’ve turned into some person I don’t recognise.
He’s sitting on the bed, quietly.
I snatch the car keys from the TV stand and rush to the door.
He follows, where’s he going?
“I’m going to get some air Chawe, I just need some air,” I scream.
“I’m not letting you go out alone, I’ll take you to wherever that air you’re looking for is,” he says.
He doesn’t understand how bad he fucked up, does he?
“No, I need to get away from you! I need you to leave me alone Chawe! Let me breathe! You’re suffocating me!” I scream
“Naledi,” he says, softly.
“This is all your fault. If you used your brain instead of behaving like a little spoiled child all the time we wouldn’t be here! None of this would have happened! I don’t even know why I’m still with you!” I scream before I slam the door to his face.
I wish I never met him!
How do I start this bloody car?
And where am I going? I’m driving the opposite direction to home.
I stop at the first petrol garage I see. I haven’t done this in a week. I started by cutting down to a few a days when he wasn’t around and now I’ve managed to finish a week without doing it at all.